99 problems . . . BUT

i can honestly say that this is one of the hardest things that ive ever had to do. mentally you know exactly what to do, you know the thing thats best for you . you know what everybody tells you is probably right . but when youre in the situation everything is way more difficult , when your heart is the one doing the talking it hurts way more . i dont understand how you can put so much time and effort into a person and care about them so much . how your WHOLE entire world can revolve around this person . and you wonder what you are to them . how many other peoples world revolves around this person ? it shouldnt be this difficult . i really thought i was okay and i feel like im strong i really do . but im not . i cant take this i cant have every word said and every word read keep repeating in my mind . it kills me . and i hope that this time will be different . i hope , but how much pain can a person take . and you have to wonder if people can really change . when you said youve changed the last two times it seemed so real and so believeable . it seemed like everything would get better . like the world was right and everything just fit . but when you look deeper you realize that everything that you told me was based on a lie . so i guess all you can do is wish. and lets hope that this string doesnt rip before my heart completely splits in two.