to me starting over is equally exciting in scary. exciting as in; rebuilding my itunes from scratch, feeling nervous & excited at the same time, getting happy when i hear a song that reminds me of somebody, realizing that im young& theres so much out there that i still havent seen and explored& felt yet. nervous at the fact that i forgot how this whole what to do after the first date & how to act thing works. today when i was in the car i was like damn im so happy right now, it feels so good to do something for me for once. & it feels good to be driven around& it feels good to be looked into my eyes as corny as that sounds. im not trying to leave my life behind, im just simply putting a pause on things so i can remember what its like to be me & what its like to have people in my life that enjoy my company.
(like gule- sean paul)
im trying my best to not let things get to me, but its hard. nights& mornings are the worst, its when i think of you the most & its when i miss you the most. i havent been seeing you around that much lately, usually you're everywhere. ur what i eat, what i think, what i smell & whats talked about. maybe its because you really havent been around in a while, i havent seen you or felt you or kissed you you, the you thats mine. you have no idea how much i miss the best of you& me.
(cant help but wait-trey songs)
starting over means leaving things& doing something bigger& better. this time my starting over doesnt consist of people, it consists of me. MEEEE finally (: nobody else but me me me, my goals, my life & what i want finally. i think thats what makes me that happiest.
(do it-nelly furtado)
tuesday my sociology teacher asked us to describe love in three words. one guy said crazy, tied down descriptions of love & some other girl said commitment, compromise & something else. its amazing how love is so different to everyone, it could mean one thing to me & something completely different to someone else. love to me is bliss, passion, & companionship. maybe im not ready to do all that yet. i might mess up& maybe the other person doesnt want the same. idk right now there are too many what ifs, & nothing is really done. maybe its because nothing is actually ready to be done, im not at that point in my life where i can live up to my own expectations of love.
(simple kind of lovely-maroon 5; in your atmosphere-john mayer)
i just want a simple kind of lovely& the memories will be okay.
going to sleep with drake, happiness& peace on my mind/
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