gahhhh !

whooo lets see . 

so ive been doing a lot of thinking lately 

and ive realized that ive spent most of my life waiting for something 

waiting on friends 

waiting on boys

waiting on love

waiting on my life to start

and im tiiired of waiting ! 

thats all i do is wait and wait

and im going to start doing and doing

you can expect so much out of a person but for what ?

youre supposed to be able to rely on those you love and care for 

but it always conveniently seems that im a convenience 

when you're in need of something im the first person there for you 

if it has to be listening to you cry on the phone

to taking you places that you cant take yourself to

to being there when nobody else is 

and its a weird time for most of us i guess

some people cant handle the pressures of life 

and seem to forget the people that were there from the start

or maybe its just me . 

maybe its both of us . 

maybe im the only one stuck in US

and what should happen or shouldnt happen

but its teaching me to move on quickly

ill always be here 

but people change 

and just like you . im going to have to as well . 

so heres to moving forward in life

with or without you . 

CATCHING UPPPPPPPPP up and away .

gah . SEPTEMBER had to be the worst month of maybe my lifetime . i dont think one good thing came out of it . except my job which i got because of reyna . thankfully haha. anyways were do i start ? i guess i never really talked about school . its pretty chill i mean its only tuesdays and thursdays so ya  . but thursday are the worst cuz i go from like 8-5 and thats an effing drag  . but its way different than high school and i like it a lot i just have a harrrrd time waking up im not meant to be a morning person. but anywhooo . 

a lot of shits happened and i guess it either made me realize so much more or made me feel like fuck everything mode. its confusing . im glad things went the way they went. it made me open my eyes to actual reality and how nothing is quite what it seems. im just doing me and thats how it has to be from here on out . you can rely on people for certain things but when you rely on people when it comes to your heart or your emotions it doesnt quite work out the way you planned. but im the queen of second chances and i have a lot of hope in us . i want to be able to look back in five years and know that i made the right decision . and it may turn out that way or it may not . im leaning more towards the may . its hard when you feel things that you've never felt in your life and dont really know how to handle emotions that you should know how to handle. but ya thats where i am in that aspect of my life . just riding things out and hoping and looking for the best in him. 

it sucks when you have to start a new chapter in your life because that automatically means another one has to close which is really dumb . and im the type of person who cant be alone unfortunately well at least when it comes to my friends. and reyna leaving is another one of the hardest things ive had to deal with; i cry like every other day its so hard not having someone to go to ALL the time. its making me handle certain situations by myself but its always good to have someone to confide in . and i was with her like 24/8 and now im like shit what am i going to do. and now i miss the fact that she liked to go out so much i should have taken advantage of that cuz now im like fuck i want to go out . but pedro and eric cant fill the place of a girl . well at least one cant ahhaa . jk ! but ya i feel super lonely without her and i want her to come back we see each other but its not the same comforting feeling that i usually get when im around her . cuz i know that we eventually have to say goodbye again . 

halloweeeeen is coming !!! yay so were going to santa barbara for halloweeeen . and its going to crackkk . were gna be well idk i forgot oh ya haha sexy ass vampires ahha it may sound stupid but we'll make it look cute . im excited about that but you can always tell when one person isnt as excited as the other . yeee .

im just dragging on with life right now . looking forward to not as many things as i usually do . i miss a lot of people like real bad . i miss seeing people everyday and especially when you've shared so much with so many people  . it sucks that people have to separate . but ill get over it  . but i still miss a couple people a lot . i think reyna knows who im talking about . =/

till my next blog :D 

peaaaceee x333

99 problems . . . BUT

i can honestly say that this is one of the hardest things that ive ever had to do. mentally you know exactly what to do, you know the thing thats best for you . you know what everybody tells you is probably right . but when youre in the situation everything is way more difficult , when your heart is the one doing the talking it hurts way more . i dont understand how you can put so much time and effort into a person and care about them so much . how your WHOLE entire world can revolve around this person . and you wonder what you are to them . how many other peoples world revolves around this person ? it shouldnt be this difficult . i really thought i was okay and i feel like im strong i really do . but im not . i cant take this i cant have every word said and every word read keep repeating in my mind . it kills me . and i hope that this time will be different . i hope , but how much pain can a person take . and you have to wonder if people can really change . when you said youve changed the last two times it seemed so real and so believeable . it seemed like everything would get better . like the world was right and everything just fit . but when you look deeper you realize that everything that you told me was based on a lie . so i guess all you can do is wish. and lets hope that this string doesnt rip before my heart completely splits in two.

but i dont see it coming yet

hopefully one day  . . . 

satc<3

welllllll lets see . 

sex and the city being lazy all day is the lifeee

ya know ?

well ive let go well im trying atleast and hopefully and ive made progress since last nigh aha last night  

hard to believe but ya i have

man my laptop battery dies so fast

i feel like  can relate to carrie & big so much its ridiculous haha

i had an amazing breakfast . a mexican style one 

theres nothing really to talk about but that fact that i love where im at in my life right now minus the work ha  . but regardless im happy . and thats just great for me <3333

reynas blog

emmmmmm pt 2

i am watching rocket power ! aha !!

even though im completely tired 

i dont get why reggie is so manly 

like what race is she ? 

is she mixed with like hawaiian & white ? 

idk why im talking about rocket power

so i was supposed to come home  & SUPER blog about my feelings/emotions

but ive decided to let them all go 

BOOM BAM gone . 

so whatevssssssss

i gave dc a bracelet i dont think he liked it the way i hoped

he fixed my internet well kinda yay   .

mom cooked 

then we went to the movies to watch step brothers 

very nice . 

then donuts

then contemplation on rather he should be a rebel or not 

todays me and reynas anniversary !! yesss umm 4 years & still super strong

yay . i couldnt imagine being with someone else so long besides her 

so many things i want to say but cant . or things i just left unsaid. 

maybe its better that way 

all my emotions recently about EVERYTHING :

happy  sad  angry  amazing  anxious  frustrated  tingly  excited  out of my element  jealous  frustrated  wanted  desire  passion  lust  love  tired lazy  needy  lazy  

im too tired . GOODNIGHT 

and i absolutely

ADORE MARISSA COOPER .


- summer roberts .


summer just wouldn't have been summer <3

emmm .

i felt like blogging . so here i go . my moms back & idk i feel like it never ends . like chillll. but maybe im the one whos supposed to chill she came home & was asking me about EVERY LITTLE thing that was wrong . why does the carpet have stains why did the laundry detergent spill like idk !!!!!!! how the hell am i supposed to know about everything you were gone for a month !!! & i guess theyre leaving in december too & they want me to go with . but id rather see my own family . anyways . i finally got that bracelet i was waiting forever for . im taking care of it & in return i have to make cupcake brownies my specialty . im overdrawn like 300 dollars in my bank account . i got yelled for by that then i forgot to return the sex & the city dvds to blockbuster so theres another thing i have to take care of . with no money [: i need to get a job really really bad and i feel like i constantly say that and dont do anything about it . edzons graduating tomorrow at 1 and i think i have to go by myself & i really dont want to but everyone has stuff to do & i have my orientation tomorrow too so i have to leave early for that too . like who graduates at 1 pm ?! tonight is ambers aunt's bday dinner which is cool i suppose . i dont really have anything to do today except things i wanted to do but didnt . ha . thunders gone so that means i can replant things yay [: no more disaster dog !!! its funny how you want to grow up & everyones like oh im so mature & im grown up already but like wtf im a baby still ! like ya im 18 but i cant even take care of myself really . i want to be treated like an adult but i dont even act like one so im not sure how that really works i guess in time people grow up without even noticing right ? i hope that me being in college doesnt change anything with him . there really isnt anything different . when people think of college they think oooh college boys everyones different & mature . but high school is more like forced . i pay to go to school so like i have to go & i want to go to learn but high school is way different you see the same people everyday in class rooms & stuff . idk way confusing . live in the moment right . lets seee what else do i need to vent out . umm nothing really i guess dc needs to fix the internet on my laptop cuz i need it haha im the retard who unplugged it but anyways . i think im cool . i miss andy & like random people . im pretty much doing the whole reyna thing everyday which i love its just weird now that we dont see anybody and i feel like im always the one trying to make an effort to talk to people or to set things up so we can all be together & im done . idgafffffffff .

lime gatorade <3

isnt it weird that gatorade isnt gatoraid . haha why is it gator ? umm . lets see my updating is past due . i usually update my blogs based on my feelings or a song or something . but idk . haha umm LETS SEE . my moms coming back tomorrow . yay [: haha idk if its a NOT situation or YAY situation . who knew taking care of a house was so hard . or maybe i make it hard cuz im messy . but reguardless its not as easy as i thought it would be . my computer internet is working . but my laptop internet isnt working because im a dumbass and like to unplug things i shouldnt . this past week has been a rollercoaster of emotions i guess you can say . but everybody has their ups & downs you just have to ride it out . i start school exactly one week from today eeep ! im excited . im ready to do something new & exciting but at the same time im not sure if im ready to go . get me ? & my classes arent even on campus which is retarded ! oh & today is my half birthday yay haha and to celebrate im going on a DD . double date & dane dc & rain rain . fun . i really think that talking makes everything better . idk sometimes people act a certain way out of anger or an overflow of emotions . & when i do that i dont really get my point across or make sense . sometimes you just have to do things without knowing the outcome . just jump straight into it feet first and hope things go according to plan & turn out worth it . its good to take a risk . & i wonder if we would still do certian things if we knew the outcome before we jumped into them and they didnt go they way we wanted . in the end or in the middle of the process theres always a lesson to be learned and a chance to grow from anything . so thats what im doing now . riding it out & hoping for the best . enjoying every second & every moment . because nothings ever promised <3

YAY FOR . . .

JELLO SHOTS & KICKBACK TOMORROW <3

7 things <3 // ROADTRIP

lets seee . where do i start ?? umm so right now im in utah . laying down exhausted & dark from water skiing & boating with the family . quite fun i might add. we had a blast sun bathing & looking and the mountains & waterfalls . yes waterfalls ANDY ! haha umm . lets backtrack like always . so umm sunday is when this whole little road trip started . i took thunder to the doggy day care because hes annoying and nobody can stand him w/o me being there . so i went there said bye to my dc and went to san bernardino to meet up w/ elsa & peeps . 

so we drove to vegas & got there in about 4 hours me & reyna got dehydrated so we had to stop a couple times. then we got to elsas apartment . & apparently someone was living there that we didnt know of but its all good :D anyways we got there got settled in then we went swimming . it was like 8 at night & we went swimming cuz it was so hot there ! so all 3 of us caught up & that was a lot of fun then we went back into the apartment and mike started cooking . we ate then we started on the C&L'S mmm yummy . so after that we got ready & went out for a night on the strip .we started walking around & stuff & went to coyote ugly to get a boot but instead we got a glass haha but anyways i guess it worked the same . so the whole night my saying was FUCK YA and reynas saying was "papa can you hear me ; mama can you hear me " dont ask . haha so we decided to leave the strip at 4 am to go back to her apt and eat . and on the drive home we hear diana throwing up on herself everywhere so of course i heard throw up and moved out of the way unfortunately reyna didnt haha so she got throw up on herself as well haha . so then we got home & knocked out cuz we were tired 

monday morning at like 10 we decided to leave beautiful vegas and head to utah . we HAD to go get sonics before we left. and i must say that the commercials are WAY better than the food & the milkshakes. very very disappointed ill never be able to watch those commercials the same . but anyways we left to utah and got there in 6 hours. then we ate cafe rio and played cards 

tuesday we went to go talk with my financial representative DOUG READER haha yumm . but anyways after we talked about my denero we headed over to the mac store and bought this little thing that im typing on right now along with a bunch of accessories & the mac guy kept saying that all of his ex girlfriends were named kristine and he was mexican but he didnt look mexican haha anyways. after loads of money spent at mac  we went to hogi yogi and got teriyaki chicken bowls yummmmy x3 then umm we installed a bunch of things onto doug haha my computers name hes such a cutie . then we played phase 10 then we napped and played w/ doug & took pictues on him and weird videos . then finally knocked out & happy to say that things are better well atleast from my point of view on me&boy . 

wednesday today we went WATER SKIING haha like i said before which was really fun i got dark and now im sleepy typing this super long blog .but ya were heading back to cali tomorrow early 10 hour drive . & lets just say that you shouldnt really expect much of people nowdays . keep your expectations low & your guards up ALWAYS . 

xoxoxo kristine . 

miley cyrus - the driveway .

so im leaving tomorrow to utah and im excited . but i feel weird , like im already homesick . things have been confusing lately, well for me atleast . i have no idea what to do . my emotions take over me and its hard to make them stop. lately ive been wondering if i made the right decisionwhen it came to choosing & how will i ever know? i wont . this might sound confusing but it makes perfect sense to me . anyways . umm utah yay [: i havent seen my family in forever it seems like . so thats good . i feel like i backtrack a lot when i blog . i miss you. and its a weird miss like i need you miss . not like oh im needy but more like youre a part of me and i need you for a sec . type of thing . i dont like that feeling, it makes me blah and i want it to go away. isnt it crazy how one person can control your emotions. even though you dont want them to and you do everything in your power to not let them, but it seems like they do it anyways. ughhh . i miss my mom i want her to come back already so she can fix everything. i rely on her way too much. i i really cant say what im feeling in this because people are stupid . i just want to spill my feelings like you know but at the same time keep my privacy . i have to take the dog to the vet to get his rabies shot in order for him to stay in a doggy daycare while im gone . haha i think im okay now that i blogged my "feelings" but i really didnt but i did secretively . i wish you werent so bratty & you would understand me more . instead of not understanding my side & realizing how hard it is for me . HOW LONG DOES A PERSON HAVE TO WAIT. im tired of waiting & watching everything move forward. are a couple words so hard to say ? ive moved forward why cant you . all i want is to move forward but im just frozen in time with you stuck in your past .

. . .

i guess somewhere along the lines of making someone else happy , you lose yourself .

uhhhhh . . . some catching up .

so i guess my last blog was last thursday right ?? well idk ya haha . anyways . these past couple of days have been a blurrrr a good blur i guess you can say . umm where do i start ? first of all i need to regain some stability in my life. the one thing i want to be stable isnt stable at all . well i atleast i want it to be. ive basically been watching sex & the city the whole weekend . last night me pedro & reyna watched sex & the city and then we made an amazing breakfast in the morning . we've been eating way too much . & the rest of my day didnt go as planned. i was supposed to go on a picnic today but apparently people dont know the whole "double standard" rule . well i dont want to get into that because its a whole different story . haha but ya . so now im blogging . in a way i love being alone & i like having me time . i get to really do things that i dont usually do . oh and i have an appointment in like 30 mintues to get a hair cut cuz i need one BAD . & priscilla, reyna, and i are going to watch sisterhood of the traveling pants tonight . which sounds fun cuz all 3 of us havent hung out in forever it seems like. umm whatelse so sunday me & reyna went on a double date . i guess you can say . or a date & a friend almost date thing haha . w/ dane & dc . the oc fair was suuuper fun & great cuz me & reyna love fairs & stuff. but ya those who know me know my "theory" and i tested it out and it worked . & im not really sure if its a good thing that the theory pulled through cuz now it makes things even better than i had expected ? does that make any sense , and in the long run something happens my theory would have totally not been true . haha sorry okay well anyways ya we went on the swings which was scary beause i dont really like things and we went to go to some bbq place & it made me throw up . thennnnn we went on the ferris wheel <3 dang it . i typed alot of of other stuff . but it erased cuz of that stupid heart !!! ughhh well anyways . then we raced on a slide then me & dc won a new daughter her name is lala . our first girl . haha but ya ummm now my bed is completely full w/ 3 kids but i enjoy the company . every day has been the same . hanging out w/ him & its nice . lolas missing . idk where she went . and thunder is getting on my nervesssss . i feel like i need security . like oh if i just have that little bit of security everything will just be fine & my life will be complete . but is anyone ever happy with what they have ? dont people usually keep wanting more and more and more . what if what i give isnt enough? ya sure at first everything was enough . but is enough ever enough ? when is the art of compromising compromisable ? who knows . okay time for a hair cut .

so this is blogging . . .

so i think im ready ., . . scratch that . MORE than ready to start this so called thing "life" im tired of lingering on with everything from my past . i dont want to get rid of it, yet i want to completely get rid of it . does that make any sense at all ? probably not, but anyways. thursday nights , you know what that means . well if you dont then you're probably not cool whatsoever .



wait i gotta go reyna wants to leave . i will be back later to continue this thing .